You Don’t Seem to Love Me Anymore [one-shot]

Title : you don’t seem to love me anymore
Author : shalof
Rating : pg
Pairing : siwon/OC
Length/genre: one-shot/romance
Summary: he doesn’t seem to love her anymore, she scared to face the truth.
a/n: uh just pretend that you’re the OC. I didn’t put any girl names here so you can comfortly read this ^^

“Sorry, the filming is taking longer time that I’ve thought. We can make another dinner, maybe tomorrow, then. Love you.”

I sighed as I saw the messages he sent me just now. Another cancellation he made, due to the drama filming he’s been doing lately. I knew I was being a brat right now, or maybe overreacted. But somehow, deep inside my heart, I was worrying that he was changing. That he was no longer boyfriend I knew, and I loved.

He was busy with all those jobs he was taking to support his acting career. I understood, being a famous actor was what he wanted all his life. He loved to act, to sing, to entertain people. Despite the money he earned, he did it so people who saw his appearance would feel happy. But now, it seemed different.

Maybe I was naive back then, saying that everything was gonna be okay with me as long as he was happy to do it. But now, I didn’t even have times to spend with him. He always busied and priored his career. And I, as his second priority, didn’t seem valuable for him.

“Never mind, I’m off to bed now. Nite..”

I texted him then put the cell phone to the commode. Throwing myself upon the bed, I slowly closed my eyes. It was closed, but I couldn’t sleep at all. His figure played around my mind. I remembered the first time he confessed me. He was flushed red when he told me that he probably had fallen for me. That was ridiculous to have him confessing his love-probability. But when I saw his face, I didn’t see any doubt of his love. The love was purely written in his eyes whenever we met a sight.

At that time, we decided to make this relationship discreet. He had sooooo many fan girls that would probably disagree with him choosing me as his girlfriend because to tell you the truth, I wasn’t a girl of every guy’s dream. I wasn’t beautiful as the actresses he was playing with, or the models he was filming CF with. I was that plain and ordinary.

And now I was wondering, why all of those matter, he had chosen me?

“Uh, I’m sorry. Dinner may be impossible and I got luncheon with director park.” he smiled apologetically at me. He held my hands and kissed them softly. “It’s ashamed that I take you to brunch instead of proper meal.”

“No need to worry, I’m okay.” I lied and smiled, not letting him knew the truth. I doubt that if I said something to him, it would have broken his concentration.

Our food came and we ate silently. He seemed starve that he ate his food in only minutes. I frowned.

“Did you eat last night?” I asked him, stop eating my salad.

He looked up to me and shook his head. “Too tired to munch something.”

“When did you get home, then?” I asked him again, I ignored the meal we were eating. His behavior concerned me more than everything. He was the one who always reminded me to eat, to take my medicine when I got sick, to do my task when I got ones. And it was all because he was a neat guy; he set everything in its place. Knowing that he changed, I confused.

“Around 3, I don’t really remember..”

“Geez, you told me you were in gym after breakfast, and that means that you’ve sleep for..” I looked at my wrist to find the clock was telling it was ten in the morning, “four hours?”

“Hmm” he mumbled, munching his pasta Carbonara. He seemed starved.

“Lof,” I called him, “you should rest more! With those crazy jobs you’ve been doing, you’ll get sick!”

He nodded and said, “I’m okay, stop being a nagging girlfriend.”

“Me, what? Nagging girlfriend?” I gave him a stare that express my unbelief, “I’m worrying your health!”

He just sat and continued eating. I threw my gaze outside the cafe’s window and looked around the park. I saw some lovebirds were walking together, hand in hand, entwined their fingers with love all over their faces. They looked happy, and somehow, deep inside my heart, I felt torn. I envied them.

“You knew we can’t do that, you’ve decided.” He said, expressionless, and avoiding my stare.

Then I murmured, “Like that was my fault.”

He, for once, stopped eating and looked at me carefully, “You’re the one who refused to tell the world that you’re the love of my life.”

I couldn’t believe he was actually saying this. “Oh now you’re blaming me?”

“No.. You conclude that.” He exclaimed, but I knew he was blaming that decision since I was the one who demanded it.

“siwon, really. I didn’t come here for arguing over past!”

“So did I, you make me argue.”

I rolled my eyes, he was definitely different. Changed.

I was sobbing endlessly and voicelessly the entire night after the meeting. He was totally different, he was changing to someone I didn’t recognized who. He wasn’t the guy of my life. He wasn’t the understanding Siwon anymore. And the worst that I didn’t want to admit in my life, I was afraid he wasn’t the love I loved anymore.

I looked up outside the window. With all the lamps off, it was all dark. I couldn’t see the shining moon in the sky that brightening the dark night because no moon tonight. I hugged my knees with my hand, sitting like a fetus.

Something popped in my mind; he was like a moon in the night of my life. He brightened my life, cheering up my gloomy side.

But moon came and gone, moon couldn’t be always there. Moon was rotating. Moon shone another side of the earth. So when a side was dark, another was bright. And moon would shone all the side, one side by one side.

And I knew, upon all the matters, he was still my moon. And for this time, he wasn’t there to shine me. He was rotating. But still, he would came back to shine again. To brighten my life.

“wake up already, sleepyhead?” a voice in my ear, sounded like music to me. A blow in my neck and I hurried to wake up. I found the guy I was sobbing for last night was beside me, sitting in the edge of my

“What are you doing here?” I exclaimed, putting on my blanket in my chest, covering what was inside my pajamas.

“Um, baby-sitting my love?” he came closer, kissing my cheeks. I was just going to protest when he caressed my cheeks he just kissed and smiled happily. “Oh, I succeeded to shoo away your fever, how excellent I am! But now I got to prepare the porridge. Be waiting baby…”

Then he faded away from my bedroom, heading himself to the kitchen across the bathroom beside my bedroom. He came in minutes with a tray of bowl and cup of something hot, I could say by the smoke.

“I was sick?” I asked him, frowning.

He nodded, placing the tray on his lap and started to prepare the food. It was porridge and hot chocolate. I wondered, did he make all this breakfast?

“I found you fainted at the living room, hands hugging your knees. You were scaring the hell out of me!”

Geez, once again, he treated me when I was sick. The first was several months ago, when I was in pressure from school assignment. This was the second time. And from what I saw, he was still the same in worrying me.

“Then why are you baby-sitting me?”

He chuckled, “Because I’m your boyfriend, I assume.”

To his words, I fell in silent. Did he just mention that he was my boyfriend? With all the ignorant him lately, was he joking at me?

Realizing this, he shook my shoulder. “hey hey what’s going on?”

I sighed, “You don’t seem to love me anymore..”

“Pardon?” he raised an eyebrow, not so sure to what his ears gave him.

“You change, lof.” I didn’t have any courage to see his eyes, “ You’re crazily busy and you’re not concerning me anymore..”

“uh lof, is that because I cancelled the yesterday’s dinner?”

“Um” I nodded shyly, “and also the messages..”

“lof baby, I’m so sorry.. I just..” he seemed confused where to begin, “I asked the director to fill all my days with the filming, so I can make the whole day of this lovely saturday with you..”

“Huh?” I gave him an unbelief stare.

He sighed then started to explain, “I was planning to spend today with you, only with you.. I wanna be with you in every second, i wanna smell your scent in every breathe I take today.. Really, lof.. I wasn’t ignoring you, I was making this time. With all the crazy schedule lately, I doubt we could have some quality time, so this is it.”

“Sorry..” I said, eventually. All the embarrassment was on my red face.

Although we had been in relationship for more than two year [I actually counted it, 27 months] I still, sometimes, feeling uneasy when we were in this kind of situation, and position. I meant it, this position was killing me! Um, to tell anyone, he was hugging me, burying me deeper in his built chest. I could feel his heart beating in rhythm.

“No need, I realized that I didn’t tell you this earlier so you might be in understanding. My fault, lof.. I love you, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I wont promised you to be there by your side everytime, but I’ll work on that..” he whispered, arm still on my back. I sighed again then let it be, letting my body fitted him because despite the uneasy feeling, it felt warm and comfort. Having him around me, was the best feeling I’ve ever had.

“I actually..” he chuckled between his words, “don’t mind having you in my embrace, but we can snuggle later after you take your breakfast and medicine, babe.”

My already red cheeks now turned maroon and I worried I would die of embarrassment.

“ew, you’re cute when you’re shy..” he said, taking a spoonful of porridge and ready to bribe me. “now open your mouth and swallow this, then we can continue our snuggle time. We have all day long, to tell you..”

I couldn’t help but smiled. He was my moon, and would always be. No matter how dark my life would be, he would be the moon and shone my darkness.

-The end-

p.s
Err, cheesy? Yes.
I knew the words I’m using are too simple; I’m learning to develop my English skills of course. Ignore all the typos, im typing this with all the excitement /grinning.
Oya, Choi Chronicles will be up soon while Gossip Girl is in pending [sorry!] so for the Brown Jurnal epilogue, im bowing of apology ><

comment are GREATLY APPRECIATED !! i, sometimes, feeling uneasy when my fics are rarely commented. comments in english or bahasa are understanable 🙂

Xoxo, me!

38 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Erika(chemistrylatte)
    Nov 15, 2010 @ 22:17:28

    Xoxo too shalof! I always amazed with your ways describing something in english!
    Waiting for your another fanfic ^^

    Reply

  2. ndeehyuk
    Nov 15, 2010 @ 22:41:16

    sweet….
    it’s sweet…
    soooooo sweeeeettt….!!!!!

    love to read it !!!
    with the simple story, you just describe everything clearly…
    I can feel everything that the girl feel it too.
    it’s a little bit sad in the front. but it become something that really really sweet when he told he do that for a whole day with the girl….
    I’m becoming shy when I read that part… kekeke

    just go on with your fanfic sha !! ^^

    Reply

    • shalof
      Nov 16, 2010 @ 07:52:40

      sweet like me and candies? LOL
      dont be shy, ka, it’s siwon by the way haha
      it’s actually a diary of mine, siwon was all nice to me 😀

      p.s. you’re fast, ninja !

      Reply

  3. Dilahryeo
    Nov 15, 2010 @ 23:52:17

    Membaca dan mencoba mengerti…
    So sweet banget,nget,nget….itu yg aku pahami dari cerita ini…
    Gpp kn ga komen pke b.inggris??hehehe…..
    terus berkarya n terus gali potensimu..
    Waw,kmu hebat bgt ^^
    *envy* bhs inggris gw kn jongkok,hehehehe XDD

    Reply

    • shalof
      Nov 16, 2010 @ 07:54:18

      as sweet as me XD /slapped
      thanks yaa, ngga papa kok pake b,indo.. asal komen 😀
      everybody’s learning, i knew your english isnt that bad 🙂

      Reply

  4. K
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 00:26:28

    love it,,
    cant wait for another one ^^

    Reply

  5. vie
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 01:30:48

    sashaaa …
    Beliin gw saridon !
    Hahaahahahahhaaa
    Migren gw kumat tiba2 neh ..
    Wkwkwkwkwkkk

    Reply

  6. Neni
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 05:11:30

    대박 언니 =D

    Reply

  7. john
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 05:26:53

    cool

    Reply

  8. EternalKyuMin
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 07:33:20

    woaaaaa sweet ^^ i love cheesy things by the way hahaha

    the way siwon treated his girlfriend maybe unperfect. But the sweetest thing isn’t to be a perfect boyfriend but how HARD siwon tried to be there by his girlfriend’s side.

    nice nice ^.^b

    Reply

    • shalof
      Nov 16, 2010 @ 07:57:28

      gimme five ! i love being cheesy too XD

      he tried hard of course, he put effort in making his GF happy. i wonder, is he now doing it to his GF? he’s busy lately XDD

      thank you 😀

      Reply

  9. tata hyeonie
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 08:29:18

    jiah @___@
    *close tab sujuff2010*
    wkwkwkkwkwkwk

    Reply

  10. ivelkyujung
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 08:47:53

    nice ff.. even the story is simple but ur words made it beautiful ^^

    Reply

  11. zararakuda
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 09:05:53

    =.= FLUFFINESS ALL THE WAY… its is not that easy,you know,your english. im bad 😦 hey Choi, i cant imagine the scene that you baby-sitting me (?) !!LOL 😀

    Reply

  12. junhaeelfishy
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 09:07:02

    so sweeet….

    Reply

  13. shimi
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 09:35:21

    so sweet….I can even imagine it….*sorry my broken english* kekeeke

    Reply

  14. vien
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 10:18:09

    actually.. i dont like cheese things..
    but this fanfic.. i like it.. hehehehe..
    it’s so sweet of him.. kkkk

    Reply

  15. ChaVie
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 10:47:12

    nice ff, unn~ 🙂

    Reply

  16. chris~wonnie~hyunnie
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 13:55:42

    Just cool~!!! I can’t describe your FF except that…!
    I’ll wait for the Choi Chronicles, Gossip Girl, and Brown Journal~
    Hwaiting, onnie…!!!!!!
    You’re one of my favorite author~ ^^

    Reply

  17. Mentari Lacamara
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 14:34:22

    semalem ga bsa komen, skrg coba komen lgi msk ga ya?
    onniiiiii…… aq mau Won2 tukeran nyok /plaaaakk onni komennya yg semalem aja ya LoL

    Reply

  18. naychaa
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 14:38:23

    it’s so nice.. i love ur ff sha..

    Reply

  19. Mrs. Lee
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 15:19:10

    Aaah I like it..
    It’s really siwon. Imagining how he could be in real world.

    Aaah imagine that he really has a gf that he hide like in this story….Aaaaah don’t even want to think about it.

    Reply

  20. alnadt
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 16:33:27

    waaaaaahhh so sweeeett

    Reply

  21. petals
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 16:39:04

    New reader *not that new actually* hihi
    Nice ff
    Melting bcs of siwon kindness <33

    Reply

  22. ex-silentreader
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 20:31:04

    i just wondering that this fortunate-girl were me 🙂

    Reply

  23. kim hyoonhwa
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 21:06:51

    onnie! the best ff ever… cz i always love E ff, n ur story is too great! 2 thumbs up!

    Reply

  24. yoochan
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 22:17:40

    am i late ?
    This is so great !
    This is the first time i read a ff full with english language,, maybe choi chronicles gave me some =)
    I’m waiting eon ~ hhe

    The story is great ! i read it slowly and carefully to get the main problem ,,
    So sweet xD
    Really !
    Siwon siwon siwon,, ur so cute !
    Well mannered ..
    *oh correct my english please !*

    Reply

  25. tania
    Nov 18, 2010 @ 13:03:24

    Great 🙂 love it hihi

    Reply

  26. nia'zquidward likilikilik
    Dec 27, 2012 @ 14:12:45

    .realy good

    Reply

  27. vellynminnie
    Apr 04, 2013 @ 15:23:07

    my english also not very well but i’m still try to read this english Fiction carefully and i can understand that the meaning of this ff is ..siwon does’n hate or try to leave the girl…it’s just about the time…and i like the way when siwon care about his girlfriend like that …
    daebakk min …:) 🙂 🙂
    and thanks a lot karena udah ngasah otak juga sambil baca ff ini … 😛 😛

    Reply

  28. nonameismyname
    Aug 03, 2013 @ 11:12:58

    Waaaaaaaah…. Sumpah, ini English Fanfict pairing Siwon-OC kece bangeeeet~ walaupun saya Thailand Lovers, saya sampe terhanyut gitu dalam ini cerita. Great job! Tolong dong, yang bahasa indonesia pairing Siwon-OC kayak gitu ada juga. Abis, sepanjang baca ini fanfict, gak bisa berhenti senyam-senyum sendiri. Ngebayangin Oppa Siwon beneran gitu. 55555 Keep writting nice fanfict yaw~ 😉

    Reply

  29. nonameismyname
    Aug 03, 2013 @ 11:21:01

    Waaaaaaaah….. This is the best K-Pop fanfiction of Siwon-OC I’ve ever read!! *nahlo, padahal seumur2 baru baca fanfict K-Pop yang ini aja* Walaupun saya Thailand Lovers+Maniac, saya suka banget sama Choi Siwon, abis dia ganteng banget sih~ *gak nanya* Sumpah, ini fanfict romantis banget, sampe senyam-senyum sendiri ngebayangin diri sendiri yang beneran digituin sama Siwon. 55555 xD Alur ceritnya juga bagus banget, awalnya nyesek, tapi saya suka ending-nya yang buat Siwon jadi sosok cowok manja sama pacarnya. Keep writting ya, kalo bisa please, please, please, panjangin ini cerita, ato gak buat yang begini tapi Multi Chapter dooong… Hehehe… *maaf saya banyak curcol+request* 😀

    Reply

  30. Johne224
    Jul 24, 2014 @ 14:38:25

    Its really a great and useful piece of information. Im glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing. beddedgfaddd

    Reply

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